


Becoming Who You're Meant to Be

by broken_hearted_bard



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Ending-The Gift, Alternate Universe, Episode: s05e22 The Gift, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 07:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1932981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_hearted_bard/pseuds/broken_hearted_bard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story follows an alternate-ending for BTVS Season Five, Episode 22.<br/>What if Spike had had a larger role?</p><p>After the new-ending, the story throws out the majority of Canon.</p><p> </p><p>I am not yet sure if it'll only have this one part/chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU of The Gift.  
> Alternate Ending.  
> Spike plays a larger role.

Spike raced up the tower--his superhuman speed making it easy work. He used his body, propelling it forward and rolling his head and shoulders towards the ground, to shove Doc off the tower. He wasn't in time to stop him from cutting Dawn across the lower abdomen, but he was in time to save her from the additional shallow cuts Doc had boasted about.

He was prepared for going off the tower too. As he fell, he grabbed on to the nearest bit of metal he could grasp and dangled--slightly dizzy--for several minutes. 

It seemed like an eternity had passed before he was able to pull himself up. As he pulled himself up onto the platform, his eyes refocused and he saw Buffy and Dawn arguing at the far end, near where the portal had begun to spin and spit out dark and dangerous creatures.

He ran towards them.

"Buffy, no!" Dawn yelled as tears streamed down her face.

"Dawnie, I have to," Buffy replied.

"No!" Dawn yelled.

"Listen to me. Please, there's not a lot of time, listen," Buffy said quietly.

Spike shook his head and shoved himself between them. "Not bloody likely, Slayer!" he shouted.

Dawn sagged a little in relief.

Spike gripped Buffy's shoulders. He stared at her face. A peaceful expression had come over her features. He sighed and turned a little to look back and forth between Dawn and Buffy. He nodded.

He looked back at Buffy. "Give me a chance. I can fix it. I can do this, Buffy," he said softly.

Buffy frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's blood, right, love? Just blood. Your blood, Dawn's blood...I can do it, love, just let me help Dawn first," he said.

"There isn't time," Buffy said. "There are people out there, suffering as more...things from that world make their way here!"

"You'll clean up the mess. You always do," Spike said gently. Keeping one hand gripped tightly around Buffy's elbow, he moved his other hand to Dawn's dress. 

"This is going to feel weird, nibblet," he explained as he ripped her dress open to expose her abdomen. "Vampire saliva has healing properties, alright, bit?"

Dawn nodded and Spike lowered his head to Dawn's wound, causing Buffy to have to lean over across his back. He lapped gently at the wound and it closed. He stood back up.

"When this is done," he said, "get Buffy to a hospital. She'll need one. You do too, Dawn." He smiled a little sadly. "She'll be fine, just get someone up here to help you. She'll be too weak to walk."

He gripped Buffy's shoulders again. "Let me," he said. "I won't hurt you and I can end this."

Buffy nodded and pulled down the left shoulder of her shirt. Spike leaned in. At the last second he vamped-out and bit her shoulder, sliding his teeth into the flesh. No one noticed that he didn't contort in pain as he bit her--there was no pain for him, not in this moment.

Buffy's body stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. She'd forgotten how erotic being bitten could be. Her blood sang, her pulse beat, and a haziness settled over her eyes. Her body went hot after a moment and she moaned.

Spike stopped drinking as soon as he felt Buffy's heart begin to slow. He laid her down, gently, on the platform. His body felt like it was on fire. He struggled to clear his mind--where the haze of blood lust was still raging. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "We could have been," he whispered.

He shook his head and stood up, stepping towards Dawn. He flicked a finger down her cheek. "I had two families in my unlife," he said. "You and Buffy and your Mom were my second. No matter what happened, or how much you disliked me throughout...these last two years have been my world. Don't forget me, nibblet."

Spike took a running leap off of the tower. As his body hit the portal it was suspended in air and shocked with electric blue lines of energy.

Dawn watched, tears dripping down her face, as Spike began to die.

As the energy of the portal burned Spike to ash, into dust, he grinned.

The portal closed and darkness lingered for a few more moments before the sun rose. Silence descended on a world that had, just minutes previously, been thrown into chaos.

Dawn rushed to the edge of the other side of the platform.

"Help!" she cried. "Help! Buffy needs help! I can't move her by myself!"

It seemed to take ages for Xander and Giles to get to them. When they did, Giles scooped Buffy up into his arms like he had super-strength and ran back down the stairs. 

As Xander escorted Dawn off of the tower he asked, "Are you alright?"

Dawn nodded. She had no words to describe how she was feeling other than guilt. She hadn't realized Spike had truly loved them--like family. She sobbed as Xander held her. She sobbed as they all made their way back to the Magic Box. She struggled to breathe as Xander laid her down in the backseat of his car. Anya sat in the passenger seat. Although she wasn't really aware of what was going on, she paid attention as Xander and Anya talked softly.

"That was brave of him. Stupid, but brave," Anya said.

"He was just trying to score points," Xander said bitterly.

Dawn's eyes grew cold. "He wasn't!" she defended. "He l-loved us."

***

When Dawn woke, she was in a hospital bed--admitted for trauma and exhaustion. She was wearing a hospital gown, which she was grateful for, and she was attached to an IV of fluids. She blinked and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Willow and Tara sat next to the bed.

"Where's Buffy?" she asked hoarsely.

"Dawn, sweetie...she's in another room," Tara explained. "She's getting some blood transfusions and fluids and they're keeping an eye on her. Mr. Giles is with her."

"Xander and Anya?" Dawn asked.

"Anya's at the shop. She needed something to do," Willow said softly. "Xander's probably in with Buffy by now. We asked him to call Angel, we thought Angel would want to know...about Spike."

"Oh."

"I-is there anything I can get for you, Dawn?" Tara asked.

"I'm a little thirsty," Dawn replied.

Tara rose. "I'll get you some water."

"Willow?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah?" Willow responded.

"Will Buffy be okay?"

"Yes. She's going to be fine. He took a lot...really...but not nearly enough for her to not recover," Willow said.

"It was brave," Dawn said quietly.

"It was," Willow agreed.

***************************


	2. After The World Almost Ended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy and Dawn head home from the hospital.
> 
>  
> 
> Note:  
> Dawn Summer's Age and School Years:  
> Season Five -- 14; 8th Grade, Junior High.  
> Season Six -- 15; Freshman year of High school.  
> Season Seven -- 16; Sophomore Year of High School.  
> 17; Junior Year.  
> 18; Senior Year.

The next day, Buffy and Dawn were released from the hospital. 

As Giles dropped them off at the Summers' home, they were appraised of the situation around Sunnydale.

"It appears as though the closing portal took most of the demons, creatures and dimensional activity with it. This is good, because it means that Sunnydale will not be as different as we feared and there isn't as much to clean up," Giles explained as he stood in the doorway. The front door stood wide open, but Giles didn't enter. He felt that the two girls might need some time on their own.

"Good, that's good news," Buffy said softly. Her voice was a little hoarse. She rubbed her closed eyes with her fingertips. She was still so tired. Not even Angel drinking from her had made her feel so ill. She shook her head, and then regretted the action as a headache sprang up in the back of her head.

"In any case, we'll be having a meeting at the shop later today, and I'd like both you and Dawn to be there, if you can," Giles said.

Buffy nodded slowly. "When?" she asked.

"Seven in the evening, please. And, of course, I'd like to resume our training schedule as soon as possible due to your injury," he stated.

"Great. I do want to make sure I'm...okay, and in full and working order, before I take up patrol again. I don't want anything to go wrong. Dawn needs me," Buffy said.

"Do you want me to come by for you around six thirty?" Giles asked.

"No. We'll take Mom's car. I've got to start being more self sufficient. An adult. I've got a driver's license now, Mom made me get mine, to help, you know...during her illness. It's time I used it." Buffy looked around. "I need to set a routine for Dawn--a better one than before. She'll be starting High School later this year." She frowned. "It's summer now, right?"

"Er, yes. Summer holiday started a few days ago....we missed Dawn's birthday in the days before the Battle," he replied. He cleaned his glasses with a cloth in his pocket. "Well. I must be going."

"I'll have to make up for that somehow," Buffy said. She nodded at Giles. "We'll see you at seven."

Giles hugged Buffy gently and walked back to his car.

Buffy shut the front door and headed up the stairs.

"Dawn!" Buffy called before knocking on her sister's bedroom door.

"Yeah?" Dawn said as she opened it.

"I'm going to put together something for lunch and then sit down with bills. I thought maybe we could go over things over lunch?" she asked.

Dawn frowned. "Go over what?"

"Well, I want you to know what summer's going to be like, and we should do something special for your birthday...seeing as we missed it while...you know...I was making us run away," Buffy explained.

"I don't need to know about the money stuff, Buffy," Dawn said. "But I would like lunch. And...I don't want to celebrate my birthday. It's not real anyways and...it feels wrong. Spike...loved us. And he's gone now. So....it feels wrong."

Buffy nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry."

Dawn shook her head. "There's nothing to be sorry about. He was a hero, in the end. In the end, he didn't want either of us to die. We didn't," Dawn said as she reached for Buffy's hand. She squeezed her sister's fingers before stepping back into her darkened room.

Buffy shut Dawn's door and went downstairs. There were bills to pay and chores to start. She'd have a real chance to live up to the promise she'd made to her mom, now that there was no more Glory--she really needed to remember to talk to Giles about Ben--to love Dawn like their mother had loved Buffy.

She sat at the desk in the living room and got out the bills while she balanced the checkbook. Her mom's health insurance had taken care of all of her mom's medical bills, and her mom's life insurance had taken care of the funeral and paid off the rest of the house mortgage--at least, that's what Buffy had used it for. Buffy paid the gas, water and sewer bills before she made out the check for the electric and phone company-which included the internet. The cable bill was next, and it was a lot bigger than Buffy expected. They weren't home that much, actually, and Buffy weighed her options over it before deciding to cancel it. She wrote them a long letter about her mother's death and included a check for the cancellation fee.

She paid the premiums on her mom's gallery, and wrote out emails to her mom's employees. She updated everyone on what was going on and how she'd be in to the gallery the following day to take stock and decide what to do. She looked up specs on selling the gallery and sighed. She didn't know how to run a gallery, but she knew they needed an income--there was food to buy, property taxes to pay, and the monthly utilities, not to mention she really wanted to make sure Dawn had an allowance. All of this didn't even begin to count the various car-related expenses, emergencies and health insurance--now that their mother was dead neither Buffy or Dawn were covered anymore.

Buffy knew that her mom got about one-thousand dollars a month on automatic payment from her father for Dawn. She knew that would cover food and the car--insurance payment and gasoline--as well as probably the bills she'd just paid, but what happened if there was an emergency, or when she had to pay the property taxes twice a year? She knew that the property tax thing wouldn't start until next year but February wasn't that far away and then they were due again in November.

On the computer, she applied for food stamps, medicaid for Dawn--as a minor, Dawn might qualify--and then went into the kitchen to make lunch.

***

Upstairs, Dawn stared at the small pile of things she'd stolen over the last several days. She knew she was wrong. Spike's death had turned into a microscope on her life--exposing every really wrong thing she'd done or said. She slipped each item into her bag and resolved herself to returning them. It didn't mean she had to confess her sins, or anything, the majority of this stuff was from the Magic Box. She could just put it back.

There were also a few personal items from Xander and Anya's, a book from Giles' apartment, and a crystal from Tara--not to mention the books she'd stolen from the shop and from Willow.

She'd confess about the personal items. She had to. She couldn't let them believe they'd just misplaced things that were important to them. She'd talk to Tara first, because she wanted to check on her anyway.

When Buffy called her down for lunch, she went.

She sat at the counter and they ate salad and sandwiches. When they were finished, Buffy put a hand on her arm.

"So, we need to talk chores and summer plans and...I need you to weigh in on what you want us to do with the gallery. I figure we can either keep it running, and I'll work there during the days, or we can sell it. Mom owned it outright. I thought we could put together a reasonable offer and see if the employees want to own a percentage each, before going to anyone else," Buffy explained.

"You want to sell Mom's gallery?" Dawn asked. Her eyes narrowed. She crossed her arms.

"Okay, before you start that screeching thing you do...I don't know how to run a gallery and neither do you and besides you're too young to work anyway. We can't ask Giles to help, because he's already done so much for us and running the shop isn't like running an art gallery. We can't hire someone we don't know, we just can't risk that kind of thing," Buffy said.

Dawn glared and then nodded. "Okay. I understand. But....couldn't we wait...just wait a little bit to decide? You could work there for a little while, that way we could decide later..right?"

Buffy nodded. "Okay. Well, the good news is that it'd be a paycheck for a little while. The child support Mom gets for you will continue, because I'm raising you now, you're still a minor, and Dad sent an email agreeing to keep sending it even if the state didn't want him to anymore. He knows we'll need the help, and it's all he can do right now, anyway," she said. "Now, about chores and summer stuff?"

Dawn's shoulders rose and fell as she took a deep breath. She hadn't wanted to get into this, but it seemed like now she didn't have a choice. "I start summer school in a week," she muttered.

"What?" Buffy asked as she shut the water off from where she'd started to do dishes. She whirled around. "What?" 

"Yeah, see...if I want to start High School in the fall, I have to go to summer school. I have grades to make up. I'll be there from nine a.m. until two p.m. Monday through Friday, for the next ten weeks," Dawn explained.

"Ten weeks?" Buffy asked as she looked over at the calendar. "Does school start late this year, or something?"

Dawn nodded. "Yeah. September third. They've changed stuff around because they've only just broken ground on Sunnydale High, so all the new freshmen that would be in that district, like me, have to be shuttled to other schools in other districts," she explained.

"Oh. Okay. And you're going to apply yourself in summer school, right, Dawn? Because I really can't handle you being held back," Buffy said. Her eyes filled. "I'm having a hard time handling...everything, okay?"

"It's okay, Buffy. It'll be okay," Dawn said as she raced forward to hug her sister. "I'm going to do better, to be better. I promise. And....and...it's okay, you know? To grieve for Spike. He loved you, Buffy. He loved us, like family. He said so." Dawn began to cry.

Buffy held Dawn close and stroked her hair. "I know. I know. We'll be alright."

****

"Okay, so....what's this meeting about and let's get it started!" Buffy said as she and Dawn came through the door of the Magic Box.

Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya sat around the big round table. Giles stood near the sales counter.

"Buffy, Dawn, glad you could make it," Giles said. He stepped forward to hug them both a little awkwardly and then stepped back to resume leaning against the counter.

"We've got laundry waiting for us at home," Buffy said. "So...if we could hurry this up? And we've got a big day tomorrow."

"Right," Giles said. "Willow?"

Willow smiled sheepishly. "So...we all need to know if Dawn's still the key. I mean...I know what the Knights of Byzantium said, and everything, and that the key was activated and so...it should be dead now...er...not Dawn, just the mystical key energy, but...we really need to know what's what. I'm proposing we do a controlled experiment with her blood," she said.

"What? No!" Buffy exclaimed.

"The thing is, there's no longer a handy, somewhat trustworthy, Buffy-obsessed vampire laying around to drink her nearly to death and jump into the portal to save us all, so...really, we'd be risking a lot by bleeding Dawn in any way," Anya said.

Xander laughed.

Giles cringed. 

Tara raised a hand slightly. "I think it's a good idea, an experiment," she said quietly.

"No, really with the no here," Buffy said irritably.

"I think it's a good idea too," Dawn added. "I mean...those Knight guys...the General guy, he said they weren't sure, that they didn't have all the information and couldn't be positive on anything. It'd be good to know if a drop of my spilled blood can break down dimensional walls, you know?"

Buffy looked around the room. It seemed as though everyone but her was in agreement. She looked at Willow. "There would have to be a fool-proof magical way of protecting us, the world and Dawn if things went wrong and barriers came down. Because neither one of us are dying. Death may be my gift, but I'm over being ready to just hand it over," she said.

Willow nodded. "We'd use the tiniest drop of blood and a few magic-words, and make the place a safe space before performing anything. It'll take awhile to set up," she explained.

Buffy sighed and then nodded. "Alright so...research?"

The gang settled at the table, doing research on the Key, and no one noticed Dawn put back the items she'd stolen.

*************************


End file.
